Death before dishonor (kurochuu) wrote in mondaymicrofic,
Death before dishonor

ASW September 2nd

I have this recurring dream, you see, and every time it gets worse. Every time I remember more details I had tried to forget. I remember the breaking glass, roaring engine, screaming tires. Or maybe the screaming was her.... Most prevalent, the memory that haunts me night after night, is the thump as her body hit the ground. And then there was me. Sitting there in that smoking piece of metal I used to think was so important, I watched something of actual importance go through hell. I tried to move towards her, I swear I did, but my broken legs kept me rooted to the spot. I sat there, in my shattered reality, watching my love die for my childish actions. I saw as the blood poured out of wounds, I heard the horrible sounds that came out of her mouth. As her chest finally fell flat for the last time, I realized what a fool I am. I had just lost the one real thing in my life.

I awoke from a dream where she died in that desert. And you held me, and said "I'm here".... Which wasn't good enough.
Because every time I wake up and turn my head my heart falls in disappointment, because I see you.
You aren't her.
You could never replace her.
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